Marty Moo

2003-11-04T01:32:00.000-08:00

Go to

WWW.BABYSPORK.BLOGSPOT.COM

New blog!

2003-08-05T03:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, as most of you have realised I haven't posted in about....3 months.
I'm sorry to get your hopes up, but this really is going to be the final post for now. I'm simply too busy and quite frankly can't be stuffed updating it at the moment.

I'll leave my blog online, and I hope Luke and Nick will keep my link on their blog. (1) for IB CAS purposes, (2) I promise I will be back. Maybe with a blog, maybe with a gun, maybe with something else, but hay, we will see!

Thnx for being such a great audience *sniff sniff*, OK...that's enough.

Au revoir, en goedendag!

2003-06-28T02:16:00.000-07:00

YAY!
I got a car!! (After a day of hardcore car searching)

Here are the specs:
* 2000 MITSUBISHI LANCER CE GLi
* 2 door Coupe
* Blue (Metallic) Colour
* 5 speed Manual
* 4 cylinder Petrol Multi-point injected 1.5L engine
* Cd player
* Mags
* Rear Spoiler
* Tinted Windows
* And an ashtray (yeeesssss)

I found some pics on the net that closely resemble my car.
The mags are somewhat different however...

2003-06-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

What are you holding up 1 finger for?

Quite clearly there are 2! What's your malfunction?!

OR:

What??! You give "it" a 1?
Dudes these are worth 10 !!!

2003-06-22T18:16:00.000-07:00

y0~~

I've kinda lost the motivation of posting these days. I'm busy with a lot of other things, and as you know we (Nick, Luke and I) will be starting the new site! It's going to be goooold..

Social was great, to see pics (if you haven't seen them already) go to Luke's blog www.stuffandassortedthings.blogspot.com

I found it very interesting to see a touch-screen electronic DJ. The great thing was that the music stuffed up and skipped when you touched the touch screen....Go figure.....
Later it the whole system crashed. It made all sense to us when we saw the infamous "blue screen of death", and realised it was run on Microsoft Windows...

After, most people went to DK's. The discrimination against the year 11's was quite shocking, but funny :D. All the year 12's were allowed to enter, but no year 11's, who just stood on the footpath, in the rain and wind. Later DK came out and clearly ordered the year 11's off the footpath.
They started their trip to the promised land accros the road, these dispossed year 11's. It was a long and harch trip, and I think i might start a book, and call it: "The Wrath of Grapes". In it, i will make everyone aware of the discrimination against year 11's (also known as grapes... :s ?). I figgered, Steinbeck and Anand have done it, why not me?

yeeaas

2003-06-17T04:42:00.000-07:00

South Australia

Capital City: Adelaide

Comprising the southern portion of the central bit of Australia, South Australia is home to the sensational Barossa Valley wineries, the just as sensational Clare Valley wineries, the equally sensational McLaren Vale wineries, a tram, parochial Australian Rules Football idiots, cricket lovers and not much else other than Churches - lots of Churches.

South Australia also has the highest average murder rate in Australia, thanks mainly to the hard work of a few serial killers over the past 20 years. All are now in custody - we think.

Adelaide residents generally regard themselves as fairly clever, having off-loaded the financial nightmare that is the Australian Formula 1 Grand Prix to those arrogant saps in Melbourne.

Adelaide claims to have the most biologically clean drinking water in the world - in fact there is generally no bacteria in Adelaide water. The chemicals, heavy minerals, Murray River dirt and industrial run-off killed all the bacteria. This situation also contributes to the taste of the beer.

Beer

South Australians will tell you that they brew the best beer in the world. They are horribly, horribly wrong. Their most drinkable beers are Coopers Sparkling Ale, Coopers Pale Ale and West End Bitter.

If a South Australian EVER offers you a Southwark, pronounced Suthuk, run away. They are trying to poison you. It is arguably the worst beer produced in Australia. Possibly the world. Although some South Aussies swear by it, most other Australians swear at it. Particularly the morning after. This beer should be labelled "For emergency use only".

From -Australia - A Cultural Perspective-

2003-06-12T03:57:00.000-07:00

Ok!
Well I don't have much to say at the moment but I'll introduce you to another crazy idea I have!:

I am planning to create a website, with as topic our group (of friends obviously). Like a "gang" website, but then it's not really a gang~~!
Some wicked things it will contain:
* A profile of each member with photo and stuff
* Photos and commentaries of crazy parties, drunkeness by the members (and there will be much rejoicing...)
* Forum announcing special events coming up, like crazy parties where there will be lots of drunkeness by the members

Now..:
1) Do you guys think it's a good idea?
2) Idea for a name of our group?

2003-06-10T03:26:00.000-07:00

Things To Do In An Elevator:

1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile,and go back for more.

3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.

9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15) Swat at flies that don't exist.

16) Tell people that you can see their aura.

17) Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"

2003-06-10T02:50:00.001-07:00

Guess who is BACK?!!!
....
No you silly, not Kim Beazly...
It's me! Marten! Also known as: Marty, Marty Moo, Dutchy, Dutchie, Dutch, the Dutchman, the Dutchess of York, Dutch Oven, The Steamy Dutch Oven and Sexy Beast!

After having a long service leave, I decided to return to my profession......even though at the moment I am not sure what that is at this very moment!

Be alert but not alarmed! The war is over so all you pacifistic lefties can read with having to face the truth! Don't worry, NO MORE WARPOSTS, (disclaimer, there will be war posts if another war starts)

First thing that I am going to say now I am back: (this will be the only political message for now)

Beazly vs. Crean.
The loser -> The Australian Labor Party
The winner -> Australia

Second thing:
Now that I have been in Australia for almost 3 years, I've come to realise that the sayings in the English language suck. So I decided to change the sayings:

Behold....New Sayings:
(in sentence form)

* "He's not violent! He wouldn't hurt a tadpole!"
* "When the guy won the lottery he was as happy as a horse in water"
* "The hamburger was as tasty as a fly with a sunscreen"
* "I am as cool as a hamburger pretending to be from Hamburg, but actually coming from Dusseldorf"
* "I am as desirable as a smoke and a pancake"

These sayings offer quite an exciting perspective on the scheme of things. What scheme and things they offer an exciting perspective on has yet to be determined!

2003-06-10T02:50:00.000-07:00

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2003-05-07T04:20:00.000-07:00

The boys (Ben Hillier, Me, Luke Betros), at retreat.

2003-05-07T02:06:00.000-07:00

I am making a stance! NO QUIZILLA!
No quizes on my blog, not now not ever!

It's not that I hate them, it's just that I have a general disliking for them...

2003-05-06T02:24:00.000-07:00

Anatating articles for english really sucks...
actually it's just English that sucks!

This is part of our current article and the following extract is one sentence:

"This kind of instinctive importance given to work by Bakha is to be promoted in order that the Indian society as a whole may progress since it is through action that one can achieve the value of self-system which he would not otherwise be able to within a system seemingly intent on degrading."

(1) Anyone who understands that sentence is a literary hero.
(2) Why did the author try to cram his entire article in one line?

2003-05-06T01:03:00.000-07:00

Lee: Welcome to Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge. I am Carvallo. Now,
choose a club. ["beep"]
You have chosen a three wood. May I suggest a putter? ["beep"]
Three wood. Now enter the force of your swing. I suggest feather
touch. ["beep beep beep"]
You have entered "power drive". Now, push seven eight seven to
swing. ["beep beep beep"]
[he swings; the ball bounces into the parking lot]
Ball is in: parking lot. Would you like to play again? ["beep"]
You have selected "no".

Bart: [dumps money on counter] I want to buy a copy of Bonestorm.
Here's 99 cents.
Comic guy: [sighs] Allow me to summarize the proposed transaction: you
wish to purchase Bonestorm for 99 cents. Net profit to me,
negative $59.
[opens cash register] Oh, oh please, take my $59. I don't
want it. It's yours.
[Bart reaches as if to do so]
Eh, eh, eh -- it seems we are unfamiliar with sarcasm. I
shall close the register at this point [does so] and state
that 99 cents is the rental price.
Bart: Oh, then may I please rent it? Please?
Comic guy: No you may not. I am all out. Though I do have a surprising
abundance of Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge.
Bart: [moaning] Ohh...

2003-05-05T05:42:00.000-07:00

OK!!
This is it boys, if you really want to understand Luke and my obsession with the Matrix go here:

Why we love the matrix!

2003-05-05T05:30:00.000-07:00

And yes....that's me, number 2....
using 30 litres of tanning cream, quite the effect hay?

2003-05-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

Too busy....to post...

Will post later this week....

I can feel the suspense.....!

2003-04-28T05:46:00.000-07:00

2003-04-27T04:00:00.000-07:00

More wonderful pics on the lovely former Iraqi information minister, Click here

2003-04-27T01:00:00.000-07:00

Are you a road menace?

2003-04-26T22:02:00.001-07:00

I'll also paste the article (it's spread over 3 posts):

Reason for War?
White House Officials Say Privately the Sept. 11 Attacks Changed Everything

W A S H I N G T O N, April 25 — To build its case for war with Iraq, the Bush administration argued that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, but some officials now privately acknowledge the White House had another reason for war — a global show of American power and democracy.

Officials inside government and advisers outside told ABCNEWS the administration emphasized the danger of Saddam's weapons to gain the legal justification for war from the United Nations and to stress the danger at home to Americans.
"We were not lying," said one official. "But it was just a matter of emphasis."

Officials now say they may not find hundreds of tons of mustard and nerve agents and maybe not thousands of liters of anthrax and other toxins. But U.S. forces will find some, they say. On Thursday, President Bush raised the possibility for the first time that any such Iraqi weapons were destroyed before or during the war.

If weapons of mass destruction were not the primary reason for war, what was? Here's the answer officials and advisers gave ABCNEWS.

The Sept. 11, 2001, attacks changed everything, including the Bush administration's thinking about the Middle East — and not just Saddam Hussein.

Senior officials decided that unless action was taken, the Middle East would continue to be a breeding ground for terrorists. Officials feared that young Arabs, angry about their lives and without hope, would always looking for someone to hate — and that someone would always be Israel and the United States.

Europeans thought the solution was to get a peace agreement between Israel and the Palestinians. But American officials felt a Middle East peace agreement would only be part of the solution.

The Bush administration felt that a new start was needed in the Middle East and that Iraq was the place to show that it is democracy — not terrorism — that offers hope.

2003-04-26T22:02:00.000-07:00

The war is over, and all of you are probably thinking, "there we go....another war post"....
It's true, but I seriously stress that all of you take the time to read this...

Why make judgements if you don't have enough information? During the last months the media hasn't been really discussing much, they've just been reporting what the official White House response was.
Again, read this, and tell us what you think...

2003-04-26T22:01:00.000-07:00

Sending a message

Beyond that, the Bush administration decided it must flex muscle to show it would fight terrorism, not just here at home and not just in Afghanistan against the Taliban, but in the Middle East, where it was thriving.

Officials deny that Bush was captured by the aggressive views of neo-conservatives. But Bush did agree with some of their thinking.

"We made it very public that we thought that one consequence the president should draw from 9/11 is that it was unacceptable to sit back and let either terrorist groups or dictators developing weapons of mass destruction strike first at us," conservative commentator Bill Kristol said on ABCNEWS' Nightline in March.

The Bush administration wanted to make a statement about its determination to fight terrorism. And officials acknowledge that Saddam had all the requirements to make him, from their standpoint, the perfect target.

Other countries have such weapons, yet the United States did not go to war with them. And though Saddam oppressed and tortured his own people, other tyrants have done the same without incurring U.S. military action. Finally, Saddam had ties to terrorists — but so have several countries that the United States did not fight.

But Saddam was guilty of all these things and he met another requirement as well — a prime location, in the heart of the Middle East, between Syria and Iran, two countries the United States wanted to send a message to.

That message: If you collaborate with terrorists, you do so at your own peril.

Officials said that even if Saddam had backed down and avoided war by admitting to having weapons of mass destruction, the world would have received the same message; Don't mess with the United States.

2003-04-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

Sept. 11, 2001

But what if Sept. 11 had never happened? Would the United States have gone to war with Iraq? Administration officials and others say no, at least not now.

The Bush administration could probably have lived with the threat of Saddam and might have gone after him eventually if, for example, the Iraqi leader had become more aggressive in pursuing a nuclear program or in sponsoring terrorism.

But again, Sept. 11 changed all that.

Listen closely, officials said, to what Bush was really saying to the American people before the war.

"I hope they understand the lesson of September the 11th," Bush said on March 6. "The lesson is, is that we're vulnerable to attack, wherever it may occur, and we must take threats which gather overseas very seriously. We don't have to deal with them all militarily, but we have to deal with them."

Has the war done what the officials ABCNEWS talked to wanted?

It seems to have improved the behavior of the Syrians and maybe the Iranians, they said, although there is still concern that Iran will meddle in Iraq. And it may have even put some fear in the North Koreans, they added. Plus, they said it probably has helped the Middle East peace process.

But will Iraq be the model that can persuade young Arabs there is more to life than hatred? Too early to know, they said.

Their point: We are deeply worried about the Shiites. It will be a tragedy if radical, anti-American elements gain control in post-Saddam Iraq.

One official said that in the end, history and the American people will judge the United States not by whether U.S. officials find canisters of poison gas or vials of some biological agent.

History will judge the United States, the official said, by whether this war marked the beginning of the end for the terrorists who hate America.

2003-04-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

Remember Aaron's bible...
I sent him an email:

"To my amazement, often when I try to visit my own site, I end up on Aaron's bible. Do you cherry pick URL's? Please explain to me why this is happening and then i might repent and ask Jesus Christ to be my Lord and Savior as a result."

Let's have a look if they are good enough to reply and explain to me why. They should if what they say about Jesus is true....

2003-04-25T20:09:00.000-07:00

What the! As if you buy stuff from people that advertise with floppy diks!
What's next?
-A "hard" drive? Where the prices don't go "up"? Together with a 6-inch monitor?

2003-04-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

I just broke up with Loz...
I think it's pretty sad, because I really wanted it to work, as you always do.... There are somethings in another person, and in a relationship that are just "there". You just have to hope that you and your partner fit together in a way. I suppose you can't really explain it...i think my cousin calls it a "change of heart", which probably applies best to my situation.

Anyway it's not like me to ramble on about it, so that's why i stop now.

2003-04-24T21:04:00.000-07:00

2003-04-24T01:40:00.000-07:00

These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie:

1.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV,so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

2.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

3.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...

4.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

5.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

6.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

7.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

8.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

9. Q:
Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

10.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

11.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

12.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

13.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

14.
Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

15.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

16.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

17.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

18.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

19.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

2003-04-23T22:41:00.000-07:00

I do not hate religion but I hate irrationalism. The trouble is many organized religions preach irrationalism by valuing blind faith over blatant fact, rhetoric over reason. The west has come out of the dark ages, to some degree, by promoting secularism. How can there ever be peace in the middle east when people literally blow themselves up in a struggle which in the end boils down to religious ideology? How long will it be until the world truly comes to value rationalism before religion? Believe what you want but just don't act on beliefs that go against or have no rational logic behind them.

Thanx Mart

2003-04-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

Luke, Nick and I ordered sunglasses online. Not just any sunglasses though...
Matrix ones!
Shipped over from the USA, in a few weeks, we will have awesome glasses!

Below, Neo style sunglasses and Agent style sunglasses.

2003-04-22T23:48:00.000-07:00

France will face consequences

Suck it France. Scroll down for the French items that shouldn't be bought. Boycott those bastards.

2003-04-22T23:24:00.000-07:00

Be Alert but not Alarmed

Very great, especially the comments!

2003-04-20T23:43:00.000-07:00

2003-04-20T21:56:00.000-07:00

Haha, what people sell on Ebay these days...

*I will kick your ass'
*Beard

2003-04-20T19:57:00.000-07:00

There you are. You just turned on that computer, connected to the internet, and decided to visit a blog. You type in .blogspot.com and...
WHAM! Aaron's bible!

A mega-site of Bible, Christian and religious information & studies; including, audio and written KJV Bible, Bible helps & tools, churches, Doctrine, links, news, prayer, prophecy, sermons, spiritual warfare, statistics, and tracts. Features the Chronological 4 Gospels, Prayer Book, Prophecy Bible, and a photo tour of Israel.

For you that don't understand (including me), Aarons Bible cherry-picks any URL headed for a "blogpsot" domain. Have a try!:

http://atrios.blogpsot.com
http://bodyandsoul.blogpsot.com
http://rittenhouse.blogpsot.com
http://calpundit.blogpsot.com
http://tbogg.blogpsot.com

I tried to approach this site with a positive attitude. But it's simply IMPOSSIBLE!

This is the man's story in a short summary:

- He did not believe the Bible was true. I doubted whether God, Satan, heaven, or hell even existed.
- He had his own business and thought that he had succeeded by his own wits.
- One evening, he and his wife heard some documentation that these were the last days before Jesus Christ would return. "Not wanting to hear it, I almost walked out. Something kept me there, and I listened but was not convinced; however, I decided to do some research to find out if the Bible was really true."
- So this man basically ditches his job and starts completely researching the bible.
Likely story ay? Does that sound like the actions of a sane man? First proof that this man is a complete nutcase.
-He researches prophecies by using Scriptures to check if they are true.

This is the main flaw in the 5,000 mega site. It is TRUE for him. He told us ourselves, because if he found anything contradicting he would stop, again contradicting for him. He is so dumb, everything sounds good! He also says that "there were people who would show me what appeared to be contradictions in the Bible" and that "these were not contradictions, but only a lack of research on the part of those that said these things". Right!
Noah's ark.........no kangaroos.........I drive for 2 hours..........I see kangaroos! AAhhh, omg! blah meh zaaa raaa waaa blehblehlblehbleh! Would ya stop!?
Contradiction! What do you mean lack or research? I'm heaps religious, i go to church at least once every.....life?

Notes:
- If that whole bible stuff is so obvious and good, and Jesus is noble. Why steal hits and force people go to your site? I suppose that's the Christian way I spose....forcing people to do whatever..

- I was really dissapointed. Even though he claims that he has audio on his site, when I went to the "Voice of Satan" link, there were no .wav or .mp3 files there! :O
Dissapointing....all those months or research Aaron...and still haven't found his voice.......tsk tsk tsk

-Aaron and Crean should meet up some day....not because Crean is religious, but they are both dumb and are full of crap!

Amen

2003-04-20T06:43:00.000-07:00

French Products to avoid

American Eurocopter
Accor Hotels (Motel 6, Sofitel, Red Roof Inn) - apparently they have begun to take their French flags down in the USA
MicroTel Hotels
Nestle Products are French owned
Godiva Chocolates
D Jeep - butane lighters

French Wines to Avoid
Georges Duboeuf
Antonin Rodet Burgundies
Domaine des Perdrix
Domaine Jacques Prieur
Chateau de Rully
Chateau de Chamirey
Champagne Besserat de Bellefon

Famous French Brands to avoid
Canal Plus
Pierre Cardin
Chanel
Citroen
Credit Lyonnais
Danone
Christian Dior
Givenchy
Hermes
L'Oreal
Michelin
Moet et Chandon
Peugeot
Renault
Perrier
Yves Saint Laurent

Cosmetics
ROC
Evian
Vichy
Yves-Rocher
Agnes B
Clarins Cosmetics

French Skiing Products
Dynastar
Lacroix
Rossignol
Salomon

2003-04-20T05:03:00.000-07:00

New design...
New attitude
Free your mind!

2003-04-20T00:43:00.000-07:00

Some elements of the last couple of posts have been inspired by Infidel. This man is a legend.

Visit his blog:
Infidel

I must admit I'm on exactly the same wavelength. People like us are there to prevent those left pricks from getting any power. Ever. They will stuff up the country, and civilisation.
I must also admit, I am an infidel, and im proud of it!

Visit Protest Warrior
Fighting the left, doing it right

2003-04-20T00:26:00.000-07:00

Ruth Russell, that insane South Australian that went to Iraq as human shield....
I cannot express the grief that I feel because you made it back alive...

One human shield said "lot of people were always intending to go back before the bombing campaign started"

I was a naive fool to be a human shield for Saddam

Open your eyes, free your mind.......welcome to the real world!

2003-04-19T06:55:00.000-07:00

A bit late, but still!
Photographic evidence of our Xbox convention...
It was great, we played Halo with 8 players, and we had a Fifa 2002 Worldcup championship.
Good times!

What happened later that morning in the office where us 8 boys were sleeping is not to be mentioned....

2003-04-19T06:41:00.000-07:00

OK Dale, you asked for it.

Have you forgotten this?

Simon Crean's speech on the war....
"...after a fiery start, Crean staggered badly. The Labor leader began hesitating and repeating himself and appeared extraordinarily under-prepared for a debate he's been demanding for weeks. Alexander Downer turned apopleptic. "What a joke, what a hopeless fool," roared the Foreign Minister. "This is so bad, and there's still 26 minutes to go."

Crean's office had pre-released a copy of the leader's speech running barely 14 minutes. But Crean stretched this compact and well-argued text into a 53-minute ramble to match Howard. It was a bad mistake.

Labor later protested the ABC's decision not to televise Crean's speech live after affording Howard the full treatment. In truth, it was a godsend"

Whahah, and you want this man to run Australia!?!

I'm not finished yet...

Australian Defence Missile Defence system...

Crean:
"What we have here is the attempt to justify the response to terrorism and weapons of mass destruction through a solution that doesn't strengthen us in our region, but supports and justifies the expeditionary type activities unilaterally driven,"

Uhhh,.....trying......to.......get......word.....out!
trying....uhh........to.....communicate......
can't.....communicate....!

I'll be adding to this post next time. I've only had 5 minutes I've already found two gold reasons why Simon Crean is a chop.

2003-04-16T02:51:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Betros I got a nasty cold, causing my glands to swell to the size of an overgrown peach. An innocent cold....or is it? See with all the SARS stuff going on, how do you really know that it's a cold? Maybe it's Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome...It's pretty scary...

SARS is a new danger.....but I don't really agree with that, I reckon SARS has been around since the start of life.

I mean males species have always had SARS at some occasions. Not Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome, but a Severe Acute Rising Shlong. It's not that new hay!? It's been around...
Not just in that case. A good example was about a year ago where I played this soccer game, and the opposition had females in their team, well I can say they were Some Aggressive Raging Sluts. It keeps coming back though,
These days we see more and more Stupid, Arrogant and Retarded Suckers, for instance Simon Crean, and Chiraq. Geez those two should be elected as Stupid Aggravating Reshuffled Slugs of the year.
Hehe, Dale, how can you be supporting a political party that has Simon Crean as leader? That's just like saying, Hussein has great political skills!
Simon Crean must be the most pathetic man I've ever seen...

Anyway!... enough with Crean, he doesn't even deserve to be mentioned...

2003-04-14T23:13:00.000-07:00

OK!
We are back online...
Thank you Telstra for plugging the red wire in the red port and the blue wire in the blue port, and not vice versa!

Term 1 has finished now, yay! In total i've spend 5 terms at Mercedes College, and it has been great.

Even though religion doesn't influence our school life too often, I still find all this God and Jesus stuff very confusing....
So I tried to summarise it a tat...

According to me...

In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the ark, which the animals came to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to find the ten commendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery".

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

Then the three Wise Guys from the east arrived and found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an Immaculate Contraption.

St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says do one to others before they do one to you.

He also explained that "Man does not live by sweat alone".

It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibles.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached the holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

2003-04-10T23:43:00.000-07:00

Watching Sunrise on 7 every morning has become a bit of a tradition. There is one thing however that really starts to piss me off, which is the constant broadcasting of so-called "experts".
This morning for instance there was a "body image expert" on a satellite connection. What the hell is up with that? What PHD do you need to get to become a "body image expert?". The only the thing she said was that it's normal for human beings to be image consiousness....Wow....the revalation.....incredible...
I am telling you now, ANYONE could be a body image expert, seriously....
Well...let me get back to that actually....some people aren't really suitable for that job. I don't think Jan for instance would be a good "body image expert"....
-"What do you think about modern body image?"
-"Uhmm, oooh iieaieuaiaiaieoo"

Same goes for that "technology expert", who just graps a new mobile phone orso and starts reading the frikin manual. "This phone can browse the internet, send faxes, and do the dishes".

Every single one of us can be an expert, seriously. I give you a list:

Betros: "Car audio and its rammifications on the human ear expert "
Nick: "Debating expert"
Daw: "Human body hair expert"
Hillier: "Human life-below-1 meter expert"
Julia: "Human involvement with 'mum' jokes expert"
Sam: "Hairstyle expert"
'Jabba the Hutt': "Alternative ways to fit through a door expert"
Librarian: "Computer expert"
NET members: "Suicidal influence experts"
Dale: "Car stunt expert"

2003-04-10T05:16:00.000-07:00

Nick and I have been mucking around a bit with "commenting" tools, and now it finally looks like it has worked.
From now on, every post will have a "comment" link, so you can say whatever you want!
Tada!

2003-04-09T05:10:00.000-07:00

NONSENSE OF THE WEEK

Look at these sexy towels posing for us this week:

This is John showing great amounts of muscle. He is a full time bodybuilder and the results are definitely showing.

This is Bella, and after drinking a bottle of Bacardi and Pisang Ambon, she is so drunk, she doesn't even know where the phone is....

A little on the chubby side, Jan decided to go for a jog on an early sunday morning. Wearing his new sneakers, sunnies, sports-shirt and beany, he looks really good.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2003-04-09T03:05:00.000-07:00

"The French, you might as well gas up the dinghy and go fishing with Fredo because you are dead to me, okay. You know something? These pricks are now putting — they're putting swastikas on our flag in France. You've got all those boys buried in Normandy."

"Yeah. Listen, I would call the French scum bags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum"

-Dennis Miller-

2003-04-08T23:55:00.000-07:00

Daw thinks he is so good, and he thinks that his Tuesday questions rock. Well I got news for him, this week they were quite gay. So as a sign of protest, I post my answers on Wednesday! Yeah thats right!
(the truth is that i didn't have time to post them yesterday, hehe, but the questions are still shit)

1 - What's your favourite all time song and why?
I don't really have a favourite all time song. It goes like this: I have a favourite song for a while, then it dies, then I have a new one, and then that one dies again. I like any music, as long as I think it's good. In general however I like music with some beat, ie, hardstyle, bubbling, dance, techno, etc. and in general I hate R&B. Some of my past favourite songs that died now:
-Elvis vs JXL - Little less conversation (after realising that there is about 20 seconds of music in this 6.30 minute song I started to stop liking it)
-Daft Punk - One more time (this song will stay good)
-DJ Jean - The launch (again it died...)

2 - If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
Even though I improved on this, I'd still make myself a bit more organised.

3 - What/who always makes you laugh and why?
Jokes that pay out Saddam, jokes that pay out the French and jokes that pay out left anti-war protesters are incredibly funny, hehe. Why?
Cuz they are all true...
Apart from that, just spending time with the boys is very funny. I think combining Tim, Howie, Daw, Sam, Nick, Luke, the rest of the boys and I, makes quite the funny gathering, were we often laugh WITH, but more often AT, each other.

Daw, you better make up some better questions next Tuesday, else we will be forced to boycott your random question Tuesday.

2003-04-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

Given that Princess Diana's untimely death coincided with the 20th anniversary of Elvis' own demise, many people are convinced that there is a correlation. After a thorough examination of the evidence, it is unlikely that this is mere coincidence.

Something big is at work here. Something even bigger than Elvis.

Note: Although many people will find this funny, many more will be totally offended by it. To find out which one you are, imagine a joke with the punch line "hunka hunka burnin' flesh." If that offends you, stop reading now.
If you're smiling, read on...

(1)
*Diana and Dodi's car crash was blamed in part on the fast-driving French chauffer, Henri Paul -- who should probably have stopped before he spun out.
*Elvis sang "Stop, Look and Listen" in the 1966 film "Spinout," co-starring Diana McBaine -- in which he played a race car driver.
Elvis also sang "You Gotta Stop" in the movie "Easy Come, Easy Go" co-starring Dodie Marshall -- in which he played a Navy frogman.

(2)
*The letters in Elvis' first name can be re-arranged to spell
"LIVES."
*Di's first name doesn't even need re-arranging to spell
"DI."

But, as long as we're making anagrams
Dodi Al Fayed -- "Dead lay of Di"
Diana Spencer -- "Speed'n in a car"
Elvis Aron Presley -- "Perverse loin lays"

(3)
*The Royal Family is notoriously inbred and is said to have "blue blood,"
*Elvis starred in "Kissing Cousins" and sang that he had "blue suede shoes."

(4)
*Elvis died on the can, making a doodie.
*Di died in the car, making out with Dodi.

(5)
*Elton John's funeral dirge/tribute to Diana, "Candle in the Wind," was a tremendous worldwide commercial success.
*The album Elvis in Concert, released a month after his death, was also a tremendous worldwide commercial success.

(6)
*Diana was the Princess of Wales.
*Elvis was the King of Rock and Roll, and roughly the size of a whale.

(7)
*Diana married Charles, a pale-skinned, sexually perverted, weirdo with bizarre ears.
Diana had two boys, both of whom are considered to be good-looking, but are rumored to have problems.

*Elvis' daughter Lisa Marie married Michael, a pale-skinned, sexually perverted, weirdo with a bizarre nose.
According to rumors, Michael "had" two boys as well, both of whom he considered to be good-looking, but who now have problems.

There you go, the truth is on the table

Taken from: http://www.esquilax.com/elvis/index.shtml. by Warren S. Apel

2003-04-07T00:24:00.000-07:00

Does God exist?

No! Else he wouldn't have let three firemen from Haarlem die while they were putting out a fire in a church. A church! The House of God. Now that's shocking. Hereby God himself gave us the evidence that he does not exist. Same goes for Allah.

(from, Youp van 't Hek, 2003. "Schokkende Beelden")

2003-04-06T05:47:00.000-07:00

Steve Wenem...

First of all, your surname Wenem, it looks like Wener, or Wiener, and that makes me think of a Schnitzel. A Schnitzel is a meal, and meal sounds like Neil. Obviously Steve and Neil have some sort of "relationship". This makes me think of Sam in one way or the other....

Second topic on the agenda, if you get rid of all the T's, E's, V's, N's and W's in your name, you are left with SM, add an A, and you get Sam. Sam, did Christmas tree pruning, although it would have been wiser to prune his hair, instead of the trees, because it really looks like a Christmas tree. It's just lacking the lights, but that will be arranged soon.

Thirdly, you mention Christmas in your message. If you take the last 3 letters, MAS, and turn them around, You get Sam. It now says Christ Sam. This what you keep saying as master pruner to Sam.
Steve: "CHRIST SAM! WHY THE HELL DID YOU CUT THAT TREE IN HALF!?"
Sam: "errrrr, my beard was in the way, I couldn't see"
Steve: "Christ Sam! No wonder, its a frikin jungle, here let me prune your beard"
(takes out his 2 meter electric auto-pruner and starts pruning Sam's beard)

20 minutes later...
Steve: Christ Sam! That took 20 minutes! Now don't ever chop a tree in half again...
Sam: hehehe, "chop", hehehe, he said, "chop". hehehe
Steve: CHRIST SAM!

Four: Christmas trees are made of wood. Wood is used to make furniture like benches, tables and stools. "Stool" rhymes with "Dool", and that's like "Randool". Sam Randell is also known as Randool! :O !

Wow, all the evidence here relates back to Sam! This is magical! "Steve Wenem" must be Sam! Stop tagging my board under aliases Sam!

Now ok, I have realised it is Tim, not Sam, who is "Steve Wenem" but for the sake of the argument we leave the blame with Sam!

2003-04-05T16:48:00.000-08:00

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night was good. There was a bit of a gathering going on at Andy Masons.

We played hacky sack, and for a while, it was good...
But then Daw started making up his own rules, like "ditch the hacky at people who self-serve", and chaos reigned.

We had great conversations at the table, and for a while, it was good...
But then Daw, Howie and Sam started talking about Lucy in a push-up bra, and chaos reigned.

We played some more hacky, and for a while, it was good....
But then Daw started making up his own game, "ARSE" and we all ended up ditching the hacky at Daw's arse, twice, and chaos reigned.

We had some more great conversations at the table, and for a while, it was good...
But then Tim peed with Sam, and Howie changed "having a pee with" with "having a pee in" and referred to Hannah, and chaos really reigned.

We went for a drive, and got food, and for a while it was good....
But then Betros hit the kerb, and blew his left front tyre, and chaos reigned.

Gatherings at Mason's.....how could we live without them?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2003-04-03T03:43:00.000-08:00

It's coming even closer....May the 15th....

2003-04-03T02:45:00.000-08:00

"American life
I live the american dream
You are the best thing I've seen,
You are not just a dream"

2003-04-03T01:10:00.000-08:00

You see Subaru WRXs quite often these days. Today I saw one of these lovely Subaru WRXs. It was a red one, with a large spoiler. I know you are thinking "great Dutchy, what’s so cool about that?"
Well the cool thing was the number plate. "BNKY 69" was what it read.

What do you expect the driver of a red Subaru WRX, with the number plate "BNKY 69" to look like?
Well I thought it could either be:

1. The pimp/sleazy/show-off/macho man.
A man with:
-very large sideburns
-a goatee
-a Fubu shirt or other colourful shirt
-large amounts of jewellery
-the dance/hiphop music blasting on full volume
-accelerate from 0 to 80 in 2 seconds

2. The prostitute-like-looking, sluttish, skankish, prostitute.

Do I need to say more?

But no! None of that, none of that…..

To my utter amazement there the driver was an Asian grandma!!

It was wrong!
So there is a third possibility now, apart from having, the pimp/sleazy/show-off/macho man and the prostitute-like-looking/sluttish/skankish/prostitute, there is the

3. Asian grandma
A grandma that:
-is Asian
-has a goatee
-has a large pearl necklace
-wears a brown or grey shirt with a brown or grey blazer
-listens to classical music
-accelerates from 0 to 20 in 5 minutes
-has the possiblity of being Nick's grandma!!

2003-04-02T01:13:00.000-08:00

OK this is going to be a major MAJOR fit at human shield people!
If any of these seriously mentally retarted people ever read this, then let me make this clear:
YOU SUCK!

My hero.....: US State Department spokeswoman said: "You might as well ask me why moths fly into porch lights," when asked about a group of westerners who are part of the ridiculous "human shield" project.
Donna Mulhearn from NSW is one of these "ssspesial" people, but guess what? She left because the bombing "was too terrifying" and became all too dangerous.
Donna, if you think you are so cool and good by joining this human shield group, STAY if you are really that tough!!! Show some courage!

"Ms Mulhearn said she and five other human shields fled Baghdad to avoid chaos"
HELLO? Any brain cells left or are you just stoned? IT IS WAR! Of course there will be chaos! Seriously HOW DUMB do you want to get!? Didn't you realise this before you left in your state of stonedness?

"Look at me! My name is Donna and I am a human shield, I am a hippy and I am cool!"

You seriously suck

2003-04-01T01:49:00.000-08:00

During a physics prac today, (Julia, Dale and I were prac buddies) Dale said something like "I want a Dutch person of my own". Now I know that that's a very exciting thing, but it kinda scared me...

I mean, let's assume that everyone can get a Dutch person, than the world would just be like Pokemon!
Except they would be called Dutchies!
Spot a wild Dutchy in the woods, throw your Dutchball, catch your Dutchy and train it, and make it battle other Dutch people in the Dutchy-League. Visit the Amsterdam gym, and get your special badge with red neon lights!

It will go all wrong man!

"Inge de Bruin! I choose you!!!"
"Peter van den Hoogenband, I choose you!!"
"Peter, do your golden shower attack!"
"Inge, counter the golden shower by doing your special Dutch Oven move!"
"Inge, do your bong attack and get Peter high!"
"Peter, throw your clogs at Inge!"
"Inge, do the windmill!"
"Nooo not the windmill!"
"Seduce Peter with your tulip move!"

I mean people, can you see where this is heading?! Total destruction of mankind!

Rule: No Dutch people can be owned by anyone, except for themselves.

2003-03-30T03:23:00.000-08:00

hehehe go get them Michael!

"Oh i love Peter Pan! I am Peter Pan!"

2003-03-30T00:02:00.000-08:00

“My Big Fat Greek Wedding” is a great movie. As you might remember, one of the main characters is the father of the family. He thinks you can cure anything with Windex, and his favourite line is “there are two types of people in this world, people that are Greek, and people that want to be Greek”.

That made me wonder…and I decided to have an investigation.

Investigation NR 1:

Aim: To determine whether I am Greek

Results: Hmm, my parents are Dutch, my parents’ parents are Dutch, my parents’ parents’ parents were Dutch, and I am willing to bet that their parents were Dutch too! I don’t look like a Greek since I don’t have greasy slick hair and I don’t walk like I just shat my pants.

Conclusion: I am not Greek

Investigation NR 2:

Aim: To determine whether I want to be Greek

Results: How would being Greek affect me?
* Greek food is pretty good, but I don’t really need to be Greek to eat Greek food.
* I’ll be able to speak Greek, but Greek is quite important in the international community
* I could have a funky Greek accent and pronounce “r”s in a funky way.
* Tyson is Greek, which kinda kills it all

Final Big Mother of all Conclusions:
The father was wrong, or I am an exception! I am not Greek and I don’t want to be Greek

2003-03-30T00:01:00.000-08:00

Now this made me think again….I am not Greek, but I am Dutch!
Maybe the father meant to say: “there are two types of people in this world, people that are Dutch, and people that want to be Dutch”.

Investigation 3:

Aim: To determine whether there are two types of people in this world, people that are Dutch, and people that want to be Dutch.

Hypothesis: There are two types of people in this world, people that are Dutch, and people that want to be Dutch

Results:
Subject of investigation NR 1:
Description: Shopping bags with old lady (based on mass ratio).

Me: Excuse me, may I ask you a question?
Old lady: Yes, of course.
Me: Are you Dutch?
Old lady: …..
Me: ?
Old lady: Uhm, no…
Me: Ok, do you want to be Dutch?
(Old lady is hiding behind the mountain of shopping bags and tries to walk away)
Me: Old lady? Do you want to be Dutch? Euthanasia is legal in the Netherlands, you might need it soon!
(I grab the old lady and start shaking her)
Me: DO YOU WANT TO BE DUTCH DAMNIT?! YOU CRANKY OLD BITCH! IM TELLING YOU! YOU WANT TO BE DUTCH!! YOU DUTCH CAP!
Old lady: ok! i do want to be Dutch!
Old lady: uhh, aaaah, help! (spasms and falls on the ground, pale as a corpse)
(I look around and walk away)

Subject of investigation NR 2:
Description: Peace protester in the city:

Me: Excuse me, may I ask you a question?
Protester: yeah! peace man!
Me: Are you Dutch?
Protester: no man…….
(Protester turns around for a second)
Protester: PEACE!
Protester: NO VIOLENCE!
Protester: …………
Protester: KILL JOHN HOWARD, AND EAT HIS BALLS!
Protester: RIOT!!! Yeaaaah
Me: Do you want to be Dutch? Marijuana is legal in the Netherlands you know?
Protester: Wow man…is it? Geez, that is absolutely awesome man…yeah I wanna be Dutch man…

2003-03-29T23:57:00.000-08:00

Subject of investigation NR 3:
Description: Aboriginal bum in Rundle mall

Me: Excuse me, may I ask you a question?
Aboriginal: Yeah ay, abadda bo ringy
Me: yes…ermm, I was going to ask you whether you are Dutch, but I’ll just skip that one.
Me: Do you want to be Dutch? Unemployment benefits in the Netherlands are one of the highest in the world.
Aboriginal: oh ay, you have a dollar ay?
(I give him a dollar)
Aboriginal: thanx ay, seen any wakalas lately ay?
Me: so do you want to be Dutch (give him another dollar)
Aborginal: oh yah ay, I wanna be Dutch ay!

Subject of investigation NR 4:
Description: Alex Daw

Me: Do you want to be Dutch?
Alex: Sometimes deep down we all want to be Dutch…..

Final Big Mother of all Conclusions 2:

A 100% success rate was observed. All of the interviewed people weren’t Dutch, but they all wanted to be. Therefore I can conclude that my hypothesis is right!

There are two types of people in this world, people that are Dutch, and people that want to be Dutch!!

QED

2003-03-27T23:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry people about not posting for a while!
It not really my fault though!
Blogger stuffed up after i spend aaages writing a post....

2003-03-26T01:14:00.001-08:00

Basically every novel we read in English is about female liberation and how females are the social minority of society, blah blah blah.

Now we are reading "Untouchable", a book by Mulk Raj Anand. This book is about a boy/man.

A man "who worked away earnestly, quickly without the loss of effort". And when he works like that "each muscle of his body, hard as a rock when it came into play, seemed to shine forth like glass"
The negative side is that this man, is a sweeper. Yeah that's right, HE SWEEPS UP SHIT! He is a male maincharacter! There we go....instead of praising females, we are starting to even further diss men.

It shows that even though we can work earnestly, all we are good for is sweeping up dung...

2003-03-26T01:14:00.000-08:00

2003-03-24T21:57:00.000-08:00

Great quotes:

English, Mrs Hall as teacher...
Mrs Hall: "The author of the passage is Peter Carey, what do you know about Peter Carey?"
Me: "Uhmm, he has the same surname as Wayne Carey"
Mrs Hall: "No....don't call him a wanker"

Nicola and Nick at the lockers:

Nick: "Come on Nicola! Come on!"
Nicola: "Don't come on me"

2003-03-23T04:27:00.000-08:00

Quick reflection:

All over the world people are having peace marches...

If they are shouting peace, why do they attack the police like a bunch of Palistines....?

2003-03-23T03:12:00.000-08:00

This is absolutely great!
Over the last days, I asked a lot of people the following question:

"you have a loaded pistol, a rose, a teddybear and a trampoline. you meet Saddam Hussein, what would you do?"

Now, this looks like an innocent question, but the answers were often really funny, and some were pretty scary...

Anyway, here are the answers:

Shantal:
I'd shoot him with the pistol, burry him under the trampoline with the teddy and put the rose on his grave

Sean:
I'd shake his hand, hug my teddy and jump on the trampoline and shoot myself so i dont get gassed.

Hannah:
I'd jump on the trampoline, throw the teddy at him, spike him with the rose and then jump on him and then shoot him ....
and make him give me oil
(smartest answer)

Nick:
I'd shoot him then arrange him with the rose and the bear on the trampoline in a compromising position then take photos.
(hmm, i dont think a camera was included in the list...but who cares!?)

Matt Betros:
I'd shoot him, in da head...... and bash him with the teddy bear

Alex Daw:
I'd shoot him and after that i would jump on the trampoline holding a teddy bear with a rose on it

Dale:
I'd give him the gun, put the rose im my mouth and jump up and down the trampoline and make him shoot the rose petals.
If he gets all of the petals i'd give him the teddy bear...
(least sensible, but most creative answer)

Luke:
I'd grab him, shove the rose down his throat and rip it out cutting his throat, then I stick him under the tampoline and jump on him for a while till his bones break, shove the teddy up his arse with the rose leave him for a while then shoot off his fingers one by one...then his balls etc and prolong his death as long as possible.
(the answer that most reveals a evil, scary and hidden personality)

Clare (Luke's cousin's cousin):
I'd introduce myself to Saddam Hussein and tell him I am the real Saddam Hussein and order him to reveal his true identity. I then realise that the disguised Saddam Hussein is actually Oliver Wood. So, I give him the rose and teddybear and order him to give them to me as gifts of his undying love for me. Then he does that, and I am very happy that I jump on the trampoline and do a cool jump like the matrix, and then you see the loaded pistol...... what to do with a loaded pistol? Give it to George Bush, so he can try and kill me. but I'm invincible so it doesnt work. And they all lived happily ever after...
(it is suspected that Clare might have been on some sort of drugs when giving this answer.......possibly dope)

Lucy Watson:
umm... i dont no

Alex Canale:
Give him the rose and the tedy bear, invite him for a jump on my trampoline and then kill his ass
(most practical answer)

Edgar (my brother):
Well....what wouldn't I do......boy.....
I would get him to jump on the trampoline holding the rose and the teddy bear singing the US national anthem, while I hold the gun take aim for his balls
(and then....?)

Mykiela:
I 'd throw the tarmpoline at Saddam because I have super human powers and I'm heaps tuff...and then I grab him in his weakened state, put the rose in his mouth and make him do the tango with me...then I give him the bear over his heart then with the pistol...I shoot him thru the bear (coz it silences it). THE END

What would I do?

Well, I'd give him the rose and teddybear, force him to do a creative dance, and everytime shoot at his feet so he has jump, making the dance even greater. Then make him jump on the trampoline and make him do flips, even though he is fat! Then i'd probably shoot him!

Saddam, if you read this (because we all know he will!), the most hostile and dangerous area for you is probably Australia, especially Adelaide, and Mercedes College. Not Iraq....

So yeah, that was fun!

2003-03-21T21:37:00.000-08:00

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answers:

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.

The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

The IB: A chicken is female...it will play the sad and undervalued target of society, but it finally crosses the road in order to show female liberation and freedom

Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

L.A. Police Department: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Saddam Hussein #2: It is the Mother of all Chickens.

Morpheus: There is a difference between knowning the road....and crossing the road

Morpheus #2 : How do you know there is a chicken? How do you know there is a road?

Neo: There is no chicken....

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed it, I've not been told!

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Joseph Stalin: I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelette.

Mulder: It was a government conspiracy.

Scully: It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens.

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Darwin #2: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Oliver Stone: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

The Pope: That is only for God to know.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

M.C.Escher: That depends on which plane of reality the chicken was on at the time.

Plato: For the greater good.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences, which had pervaded its sensorium from birth, had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own freewill.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

The Sphinx: You tell me.

O.J.: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.

2003-03-21T20:50:00.000-08:00

Ok, no more war posts for a while. This is not because I am listening to "Clare" and "Dommy", who are nothing more than distant, unknown, individuals, in some distance part of this massive country at this moment. (...)
It is because I think I made my point, anyone who wants to discuss or argue, i am more than willing to.

Amen

2003-03-21T19:20:00.000-08:00

A parody on Nick's :The Best Laid Plans (A play)
(see www.donteattheyellowsnow.blogspot.com)

(Bob and a bunch of other hippies sit opposite each other at a large table. A map of Iraq lies between them, divided into grid squares. A normal and relative intelligent person sits at the head of the table.

Hippy: (Points at map) Well, we plan to create a human shield here, I know that's the damn stupidest idea someone ever came up with, but hay, they won't realise they'll get killed, because they are stoned and we won't care because we will be running around the city shouting "no war", and we'll be stoned too!!

(Normal and relative intelligent person realises the world is doomed and runs away)

Hippy: Furthermore, we plan to include schoolkids in our rallies, because they don't
really know what to think yet, so we can influence them! (Stares at big pink elephant in the room)

(Bob and the hippy pull out their bongs and signs and a set of textures, they start writing senseless and idiotic anti-war messages)

*News comes in that there now is a minority of Australians that want Australian troops to come back to home, and that more and more countries have joined the coalition of the willing*

Bob: Ah damn, I am not part of the majority anymore! It is not cool to be against the war anymore! The majority of Australians realise that this military action is good!

(Other hippies stare vaguely at Bob, but then turn to their bongs again.

*News comes in again, stating that 90% of the bombs are accurate within 2 meters, so civilian casualties are minimal, and civilians are helping coalition troops to tear down Saddam Hussein billboards*

Hippy: So yeah we just keep shouting “no-war”, even though this war is clearly benefiting the Iraqi people, because it frees them from Saddam’s evil regime.

Bob: Hmm, see I have never really thought about this, it just seemed the cool thing to do you know....

(Hippy stares at the second big pink elephant)

Bob: I mean walking in those rallies made me feel like I was doing something good! But now I realise that I wasn’t representing a majority at all!

Hippy: Hmm, yeah, most of these anti-war protesters still have to hit puberty, so they don’t really know what they are saying anyway…

Bob: Yeah, what the hell were we doing? I must have been stoned or something! Now I realise that’s how you hippies get these people to protest! All those fumes at the rallies made everyone high and shout “no war!”

(Normal and relative intelligent person runs back in)

Normal and relative intelligent person: Good god gentlemen! Now that everyone became sensible, you are the minority! and everything you said is completely stupid and was wrong! (Points at Bob and Hippy and starts laughing frantically).

Bob: waaaaa

Hippy: So yeah, we’ll just have another peace rally! We don’t have anything else to do anyway because we are just bums and smoke dope 24/7!

Normal and relative intelligent person: What are you, high?

Hippy: yep!

(more and more normal and relative intelligent people run in and start laughing at this sad cluster of human beings

2003-03-19T23:28:00.000-08:00

God bless America.

Without the USA, there wouldn't be B-2 Spirit Stealth Jet Bombers.

These radar-undetectable planes are finally bombing Iraq this very moment. It's pretty sad that the USA has to solve all the problems, but that's just the way it is. May victory occur soon, and may the number of allied casualities stay low. The Iraqi people will get a better life after Saddam is dead or captured, and after the regime has been changed. Weapons of mass destruction will be destroyed and....yeah that's basically it.

But who needs B-2 Spirit Stealth Jet Bombers when we have Cool Mint Listerine Pocket Paks (oral care strips)?

Without the USA, we wouldn't have this wonderful invention and our mouths would still smell like Saddam Hussein.
Maybe we should drop these packets, and all the Iraqis will have good breath and then they would be happy!

Hmm it says "oral care strips", so I am not sure why Julia and I decided to put one of this miracle strips up our nose in physics lesson 4 today. What can I say? At least everything we smelled had a listerine fragrance. The blue snot that came coming out for the rest of the day was exciting as well!

We love you Uncle Sam!

2003-03-18T00:23:00.000-08:00

We all know what happened last weekend... I decided to help ...."certain" parents by telling them what to do with alcohol, especially...

WHEN THINGS GO WRONG:

Your teenager goes to a party despite you telling them they are not allowed to:

(maybe not very relevant but it might be if you decided to ground your kid for say....the rest of the term orso...)

If your teenager is sober when they arrive home and you feel able to control your anger, discuss the situation that night. If they are drunk, or you are too tired or angry to have a reasonable discussion, wait until the morning.

Let them know how you feel about their behaviour including any worries you had for their safety. Give them a chance to explain their behaviour. Go back over the rules you agreed to and make sure there is an appropriate consequence. For example you may ground your teenager for a week, including the following weekend. Or if you really feel like it, just ground them for the rest of the term! That will teach the little bugger!

Your teenager is taking alcohol from your drinks cupboard:
Deal with it as you would deal with any stealing within your family. Discuss what has happened with your son or daughter. Follow through with an appropriate consequence. For example, one parent asked her teenager to pay for the alcohol taken.

(hahaha how great is that!? That just solves the problem "how do i get alcohol?" for minors! Just steal from your parents and pay for it!)

Your teenager is very drunk and unconscious:

(hehehe, this reminds me of something...im not sure what though...)

Don't leave them alone. Lie them on their side in the recovery position. Make sure they are breathing and their mouth is empty. Keep them warm. If you are unable to wake them, dial 000 for an ambulance.

(oops... or just try to lift them with 7 guys, throw them in a car and hook a plastic bag over their ears)

Your teenager is vomiting continuously

(hehehe)

Call 000 for an ambulance.

(oops...again)

You feel your teenager's drinking is out of control

If after discussing things with your teenager the situation doesn't improve then it is important that you discuss your concerns with a professional.
You can also decide to ground them for the rest of the term.

OR just let your kid's friends pay him/her out, hopefully that will teach your kid not to do it again...
If this makes your kid feel more misarable and causes him/her to drink even more, then just pray and hope he/she dies peacefully.

2003-03-14T19:58:00.000-08:00

Hehehe, how great would this game be?

Let's get a Playstation 2!!

2003-03-14T00:11:00.000-08:00

The United States of America is a very funny country.

A SELECTION OF DUMB LAWS IN THE USA:

In Alabama:
*It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

In Alaska:
*It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

In Florida:
*If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
*It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
*Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
*Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
*You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
*It is considered an offense to shower naked.

In Indiana:
*Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.
*The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415.
*Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.

In Kentucky:
*One may not dye a duckling blue and offer it for sale unless more than six are for sale at once.

In Montana:
*Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them.

In Texas:
*A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
*It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
*It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

In Utah:
*It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you just can't detonate them.

To check out more of these funny laws, and other stuff, go to: http://www.dumblaws.com

2003-03-13T02:52:00.000-08:00

Who is Alex Daw?
Who is this hairy little man that we all adore?
He is Alex "dad" Daw

*He had a beard when he popped out 17 years ago (explaining his nickname "dad")
*He wants Peter Combe's babies
*He went to a party and witnessed a live stripshow, but claims he couldn't see anything because people were blocking his view....sure they were....
*Eventough he does not have any coordination, he is quite a good soccer player, running like a human torpedo shouting "Daw's ball", and booting the ball into oblivion.
*The greatest mystery of all.....Daw and Kristen
*The second greatest mystery of all....does Daw have balls?
*He has a record player and is in love with it. If it could bear babies, it would be pregnant by now

Peace out

2003-03-13T02:20:00.000-08:00

Who is Nick Lucas?
Some people say he is asian,
some people say he is weird,
but who is this man that calls himself "snowman"?

(how ironic, the title of this picture is "blowjob" hehehe)

*He started the whole blogging craze!
*He has chest hair :O
*He seems to have a skill of writing ridicoulous amounts of text on even the simplest and most straight forward events, and he does this when it is totally unnecessary.
*He is not very skilled at creating webpages and the same goes for maths.
*He laughs when our physics teacher talks about "Uranus"
*He has chest hair :O
*He wants to make sweet love to John Mayer, and thinks John's body is a wonderland
*Enjoys buying G-strings, because they break all the time, especially when he plays John Mayer songs.
*Always turns out to be the designated driver, even when he clearly pointed out that he wants to drink

Although I could probably rave on for ages, that's about all we need to know about Nick for now!

2003-03-13T01:32:00.000-08:00

==================================================

I promise to have a post devoted to Nick and Alex, but that will come.
The reason for this delay is that this post, is specially devoted to Lauren! Eventhough she did not attempt my wonderfull little riddle, she still is a winner!
I just wanna say she is a great girl.
Eventhough she hasn't quite comprehended topics such as putting Ice Magic in the microwave and the blatent 2 meanings of "unisex", she is a champ.

There you go, a post devoted to you loz ;-)
-xxx-

=================================================

2003-03-11T17:16:00.000-08:00

Riddle continued....

Both Lucas and Daw solved the riddle!
Daw required one line to answer the riddle, Lucas wrote half an essay.
Daw said: "you can ask each of them if they are female"
Yes for an answer would mean he is the lair, while no for an answer would mean he is speaking the truth.
Lucas said, "Ask either of them, “If I were to ask the other if this was the right path, would he say yes?”, and then he wrote his essay on it.

So, as promised, I will devote an entry to Nick Lucas and Alex Daw!

2003-03-10T22:42:00.000-08:00

Ok people, this is going to be fun. I posted a riddle below, and you have to solve it. The person(s) that get it right will get special attention on my blog! Not just special attention,...no, an entire post will be devoted to you! So you will acquire instant fame! So read it, and send the answer to:
martenx@hotmail.com

Here we go:
You are travelling and you want to go to a specific village. You reach a crossing and you can only go in two directions. Guess what!?You dont know where the hell to go!
Luckely there are two little men, Daw and Ben, standing there, at that crossing!
There is a little problem though, one of these men always tries to shake your hand, touch you and spit all over you! Who is it?

No just kidding, that wasn't the riddle. The story continues...
They know the way, but one of these men always lies and the other always speaks the truth. You have no idea who the liar is.

You can only ask each man one question. What questions do you ask to get to the right way?

It's not that hard people...

2003-03-08T22:51:00.000-08:00

France doesn't want to go to war....

Let's get some facts straight:

The Complete Military History of France

Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied.

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie.

Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein."

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkish Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?" but rather "How long until France collapses?"

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage."

That's why France doesn't want a war! They never win!!!

Ce n'est pas bon ehh?

Not the first time the French got screwed....

2003-03-08T22:40:00.000-08:00

Oaklands (Marion) railway station...

It looks more like a 200 year old toilet facility. The underground passage way resembles a post World War 2 bomb shelter in Berlin. Or it looks like some sort of death row. As you go underneath the train tracks, you expect a weird voice to start squealing: "Death man's walking....".

The stench of urine is worse than that of an old folks home. You can't stay there too long, else the acidic fumes will decompose you rapidly. A parasite and flea infested dog crawls towards me in these long and dark dungeons and cries for something to eat or drink. After a firm kick in the head the mongrel stops crying. Life is hard for a dog here...but my shoe against its head is much, much harder...

The endless tunnels are exactly the same as those in Wolfenstein 3D (for you that don't know what Wolfenstein 3d is, I feel sorry you missed out on the first 3D shooter the world has known). You prepare yourself for a german gestapo officer to jump out of nowhere and shout: "Halt! Papieren bitte!". You realise you don't have a big gatling gun on you, so you increase your pace a bit.

As you come out of these tunnels and breathe air again, you are happy that the sun still shines, and all your suicidal urges you had a minute ago disappear.

Oaklands (Marion) railway station...

2003-03-07T23:08:00.000-08:00

War is coming closer by the minute; especially now Bush and Blair announced they will still attack even if Russia, China or France use their veto vote to counter a new UN resolution.

Noone wants war, but it is the only solution to this problem. Chief UN inspector Hans Blix has again stated that Iraq is still producing illegal missiles, like the Al-Hussein (SCUD) missiles, capable of carrying a biological and/or chemical load. By doing so, ignoring international and UN rules, exactly like they have been doing over the last 12 years.

There is a possibility that this war will turn nasty, due to the fact that Hussein does not give a damn about his own people. So when Hussein feels cornered and angry he might launch VX-gas, or other chemical and biological weapons, to Isreal for instance.

Sharon and Israeli spokepersons have stated that there will be retaliation on any attack on Israel that causes mass loss of civilian life by Iraq. Israel has one of the largest and most advanced nuclear arsenals in the world, (eventhough they've never admitted they have nukes) and they have stated they are not affraid to use "un-conventional" attacks. IE. they will nuke the bejesus out of Iraq if they need to. Hussein wont care about this, because he doesn't care about his own people (remember, he tested VX-gas on his own people killing 30.000 innocent peope).

But then again, experts say this is very unlikely to happen...
But if it does happen there will be some landshaping happening in the Middle East!

Hmm, this will solve a lot of future problems....there won't be any conflicts with Iraq anymore, never....simple because there won't be an Iraq anymore!

QED

2003-03-07T20:49:00.000-08:00

It is coming closer, May the 15th...

Do I need to say more?

(After searching for a website to host pictures and some help from Luke, I finally got pics on my site!)

2003-03-07T00:39:00.000-08:00

I am kinda staying with the topic of religion, and it's ups and downs.
One of the downs of religion, is that you can go to hell when you are not worth going to heaven. (At least that's what they say).

Here, a story about hell:

One day, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with a demon:

Demon: Why so glum, chum?

Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell.

Demon: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun
down here. You a drinkin' man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Demon: Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays,
that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequilai Guinness, wine
coolers, diet Tab... we drink till we throw up and then we
drink some more. And if you drink yourself to death, it's
okay... you're already dead anyway!

Guy: Gee, that sounds great.

Demon: You a smoker?

Guy: You better believe it.

Demon: Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the
finest cigars from around the world and smoke our lungs
out. If you get cancer, it's okay... you're already dead
anyway!

Guy: No shit!

Demon: I bet you like to gamble.

Guy: Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Demon: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps,
blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a
pai gow poker table.

Guy: Hmmm, I never played pai gow before...

Demon: Well now you can. You like to do drugs?

Guy: Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't mean...

Demon: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to
a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size of a
submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you
overdose, it's okay... you're already dead anyway!

Guy: yeah! I never realized that hell was such a swingin'
place!

Demon: You gay?

Guy: Uh, no.

Demon: Oooh, you're gonna hate Fridays...

So there you go people, hell is good, except for Friday! Unless you are gay...
...

2003-03-05T03:02:00.000-08:00

In this time of Lent (is it already Lent?) we all have to dig deep and do something with our faith. Now I am not sure what, but it must be something good.
I decided to become a priest 2 weeks ago, and I had my first mass. I was so nervous however, I could hardly speak.

After the mass I asked the monsignor how I had done.
He replied: "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday I took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the mass, I got nervous and took a drink. I proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon my return to my office after mass, I found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."

12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

2003-03-04T17:13:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, 3.30 PM....school has just finished and Alex and I are walking towards Delamere. The first thing Alex says is: "hay, isn't that your mum?". It was.
The image of my mum and my brother driving away was shocking. Your life really flashes in front of your eyes. My first steps, my first words, my first woman, my first baby, my first divorce, my first STD, anyway..., it was pretty scary.

T1000 style I start running after the car, and just like Forest Gump "I just ran". Within a couple of second I stopped running and I started flying, it didn't take long for me to reach terminal velocity. Little Billy didn't see me coming. This little reception boy got in the way, and I didn't have time to avoid him. Collision was inevitable, but it only slowed me down a little, due to the massive difference in momentum. Billy was ripped apart in aprox. 3.4256x10^56 fleshy pieces, scattered over an area of about 5 states.

He died in hospital today...

Oh yeah...I did reach the car in time...my mum didn't know soccer training was cancelled....
Rest In Peace Billy

2003-03-03T02:53:00.000-08:00

I'd like to comment on Luke's opinion (www.stuffandassortedthings.blogspot.com) of the peace protests and the conflict with Iraq. I agree with him, the majority of people on these marches scream "peace" without really considering the whole topic. Popularism is a very big issue, cuz nothing is cooler these days than marching and saying "look at me, I am against war". It was accidental that I was in town at the time the first peace march was on, but I made one observation: There are more "democrat" and "green" signs than peace signs! This is not a peace rally it is an election campaign, wake up people!

Noone is in favour of war, but sometimes there is simply no other option. Arguments like "diplomatic solutions" are crazy, you can't argue with a dictator like Saddam. Diplomatic solutions only work when the conflict is between democratic countries, not a dictatorship. There is simply no other option, the UN has tried to disarm Iraq for 12 years! All that time they have been playing a game with the UN, by ignoring their demands, and everytime when the pressure built up Iraq gave in a tiny bit. What do you think when you read "Iraq allows 3 hour spyplane flight over Baghdad"? Who is controlling who? After 12 years America starts doing the weightlifting, required to let the UN inspectors in. Nobody was complaining...now when war is inevitable some people start complaining. Pretty easy to say no to war....

I agree, Australia does not need to be involved, but saying "this is not our war" is a bit selfish centered. Terror doesn't know boundaries, and as seen with the Bali bombings, it can come very close to Australia. The links Iraq has to Al Quaida have been proved. Why wait till Australia is directly targeted? This is a clash between cultures, a modern 21st century culture with a medieval 14th century culture. Jealousy is the driving engine in this whole conflict, not just Iraq, but terrorism in general. That's why Australia will also be targeted, especially living relatively close to an area where there is a large population of Muslim extremists, known to like being in terrorist networks.

Every single allied soldier in the Gulf this very moment is a volunteer. They can leave whenever they want to, just like the 11 soldiers refusing antrax vaccinations. They caught the first plane back home, and bob's your uncle. Shouting "bring the troops home" worked during the conscription period in the Vietnam, not right now, in 2003.

I could give more arguments, and I will, but not now, I need to do maths!

Au revoir!

2003-03-02T22:57:00.000-08:00

Damn, who is stopping me? I give you another need web feature:

The Poll

Scroll down and have a vote!

2003-03-02T03:45:00.000-08:00

It looks like the Dutchman is leading the way in introducing cool and neat features to the blogging action.
After putting a counter on my page a new step has been taken!
Today I added another marvel, I give you:

The Tag Board

have a go!

May others like Nick and Luke follow!

2003-03-01T20:28:00.000-08:00

Some funny jokes on Iraq!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: How is Saddam Hussein like Fred Flintstone?

A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
-----------------------------------------------------------
"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag." —David Letterman
-----------------------------------------------------------
"In California, 50 women protested the pending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president." —Jay Leno
-----------------------------------------------------------
"The U.S. and several of our allies have been trying to secretly to convince Saddam Hussein to step down from power and go into exile forever. It's called 'Operation Al Gore.'" —Jay Leno

2003-03-01T19:56:00.000-08:00

How weird are song lyrics? I was just listening to the first album of the Spice Girls (don't ask....) and their first and biggest hit, "Wannabe".
One of the lines goes "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends". Now this might be my Dutch interpretation or it might be a dodgy UK attitude, but what the hell is up with that?
They are obviously referring to "getting along" instead of "hooking up with" but still! It is very ambiguous...

It is kinda like me saying, "yeah, for sure, I wanna be your lover, but first you have to hook up with Dale and Lucas!"
Oh I see now! I think they regard it as the ultimate test, as in, if you survive getting with my friends, well then you are THE ONE!
Anyway, it proves why the Spice Girls broke up! They have no friends!

(PS. I am not ashamed to admit that I used to be quite the Spice Girls fan in my younger and more vulnerable days... )
(PPS. My favourite Spice Girls song was "Too Much")
(PPPS. Why am I posting this?)
(PPPPS. No I am not gay....)
(PPPPPS. Ok I'll stop now)

2003-02-28T16:54:00.000-08:00

Everyone knows I am quite the Matrix fan. Therefore, May the 15th will be one of the happiest days of my life...the Matrix Reloaded will be released! This second part of the upcoming trilogy will be even bigger, faster and better than the first one! Now don't get me wrong, the first movie is still my favourite movie ever, it is so good that yesterday I decided to shove that wonderful little disc in the DVD player, and crank up my home theater system to max volume.

I skipped to one of the best scenes....the lobby shoot-out scene. The beep created by the metal detector as Neo walked through it was so incredibly loud that I can still hear in my ears this very moment. This should have warned me and make me put down the volume a bit, but I didn't, due to being hypnotised by this Matrix marvel. As soon as the first security guards had hit the ground after copping a couple of clips, half the US army decides to run in the lobby and yell "FREEZE!" to our heros Neo and Trinity. Soon after this is when the real mayhem started...
The phat base of the music combined with huge amount of shooting made my speakers and subwoofer go so crazy that by now my whole livingroom started to rumble and shake. This effect, which was probably about 8 on the Richter scale, made the walls, windows and furniture vibrate and shake so much that I thought the house was going to collapse. Instead one of the paintings came down and hit the ground with a loud bang. After dodging the lethal splinters by moving my arms around and bending my body backwards, I dove onto the remote and made a Matrix style flip, while turning the volume down. My brother walked in and said:
"Wow, you move like they do...I haven't seen anyone move that fast...".
I looked at the painting and with a sigh I responded "I wasn't fast enough". Then I said "can you repair that thing?"...
"Not yet.....Tank I need a program for the repair of a painting" His eyes flickered for a couple of seconds and then he said "let's go".
With unseen skill he repaired the painting and put it back on the wall...
Suddenly a phone started ringing...when we picked up we dissappeared back to the....
the...
Netherlands?

2003-02-26T00:45:00.000-08:00

The male population of the year 11 IB English class had quite the nasty time last year. Seriously, all of the novels that we studied had a main theme focusing on women, feminism and suppressed women that fought and proved their right! Well, not all of the novels we studied had that as a main theme…there was for instance “Kiss of the Spiderwoman” which was about a homosexual/transsexual and a straight man locked up in an Argentinean prison cell. Let’s just say it became clear to us what “dropping the soap” was all about :S.

Now this year (year 12 IB English) has been a bit better. We started with “The Great Gatsby” which was more focussed on money and men with money. My hope has already been shattered however…“The House of Spirits” seems to be another “woman novel”....

So for all the men out there (maybe doubting their sexuality), I decided to post the famous:

MAN CODE

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

3. When you are interrogated by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without accusation; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to yell "liar!" (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable
exaggeration rate is raised to 400%)

6. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

7. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is five minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait ten minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the
classic 1-10 babe scale.

8. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

9. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friend's birthday is strictly optional and slightly suspicious.

10. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the
beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

11. Before dating a buddy's "ex," you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

12. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

13. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

14. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

15. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but may never ask who's playing.

16. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you're able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare
excuses about joining the priesthood.

17. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're lying on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.

18. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

19. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

20. If a buddy is outnumbered, out-manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours, his actions have led you to think, "What this guy needs is a good a**-whoopin'," then you may sit back and enjoy.

21. Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while weightlifting:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"C'mon, give me one more !Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers."
"Nice a**, are you a Sagittarius?"

22. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be referring to his beer.

23. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.

24. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

25. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not.

2003-02-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

Yeah that's right! Who has a counter? I think it is me! (scroll down)

:-)

2003-02-24T23:28:00.000-08:00

Nick mentioned getting ladies in on the Blogaction on his site, and also that I was the closest to a female viewpoint at this moment.

We have Australian and Dutch people writing blogs now, but I think we have to make this all a bit more international. We basically need a wider variety of cultures.
For instance, we might need people from Asia!
.....
Yeah! That would be a sweet idea!
....
Oh shit, ah I forgot, we already got Nick...

Again happy newyear to Nick! Good luck to you for this year of the goat, we know you love em ;)

Peace out

2003-02-24T17:00:00.000-08:00

When I was exploring the wonderful realms of the World Wide Web last weekend, I decided to pay the Mercedes College website a visit. It doesn't take long to realise that there is nothing interes...actually, (almost) NOTHING on the website, but that wasn't my main problem...

Now, is it just me or are the newsletters in the "School newsletter" section, (http://www.mercedes.adl.catholic.edu.au/News/articles.html) more than 2 years old?
How funny is a September 2001 newsletter under the "recent newsletters" heading?
This becomes extra funny when you go to the homepage and it says that one of the principles Mercedes College believes in, is that:

"Students need to be informed, tolerant and willing to communicate with others readily. "

How can we be informed if the newsletters are more than 2 years old? Yeah good one Mercedes!

2003-02-23T00:41:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

Yes this is my attempt at a blog, it is more a bit of a try-out so I'm probably not going to pursue posting and editing stuff as religously as Nick... (credit to Nick for starting this whole blog idea)
I have just been mucking around with the design and haven't been trying to get some posts up.